Normal People Scare Me
by teB360
Summary: Light is stuck on a plane with the utterly embarrassing L, who only seems to be doing it on purpose. If weird looks, lust for cake and L's annoying attitude isn't bad enough, Light doesn't know what is. Oh wait, handcuffs with a missing key are pretty bad too. Crackish, and may be continued if you readers like it enough!


"Gate G2 is now open, please have your ticket ready by the door." Announced the flight attendant through the intercom in a voice as cheerful as her finely pressed mud brown uniform.

The tickets were scanned one by one and the line edged forward inch by inch.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." The attendant droned on tiredly after each beep from the scanner between the travellers.

The Great Detective L received a blatant strange stare before he received his required thanks, to which he returned with an even stranger smile. "I look forward to travelling with you." He said to her and stepped off once his ticket had been scanned.

Light Yagami, who was standing behind his companion, cringed at the interaction. He showed his ticket with a stoic expression that screamed 'I am in no way affiliated with that man.' Even though it was clear he was. After all, the chain from the handcuffs was the only thing that really separated the two.

Unfortunately, after this was noted, Light received an even stranger look than L. He felt a blush attempting to climb its way up his neck.

"We were pranked at a party and lost the key." He tried to explain. It was a less embarrassing story than the truth and he was sticking to it. "They let us off at security."

She narrowed her eyes at him, as if trying to deduce whether he was joking or if it was some weird sex thing he was involved in. This only furthered Light's embarrassment, as he'd figured that airport staff would be used to seeing all kinds of strange things and would not bother scrutinising over it. He guessed wrong.

He had a feeling that they would be monitored throughout the flight as she let him off.

The two settled into their assigned seats of the aeroplane, Light taking the window seat for the view and L sitting with his feet on the seat. They both managed to buckle their seatbelts and while waiting for the rest of the passengers to finish boarding, L plugged in his earphones and bobbed his head to an irritating, static tune.

He didn't even see the flight attendant from earlier standing to his side with her arms folded, but Light did, and he bumped L in the shoulder.

L immediately noticed the looming woman and pulled out a single earbud. "Yes I would like some snacks thank you. One of each."

"Excuse me sir, you will have to turn off your personal electronic device during take-off, and for your own safety, remove your feet from the seat."

"But we have not taken off yet." L stated. "May I have my snacks early please."

She sent him a harsh glare and Light looked mortified.

"I am so sorry for my friend here, miss. He has no experience in social situations and doesn't understand proper form."

"Do you have cake?"

"Well please inform your _friend,_" she glanced between the two suspiciously, "that he must sit _properly_ and wait, like everybody else, for snacks. And no, we do _not_ have cake."

With that she stormed off to the front of the plane to run through safety measures.

"You are so embarrassing, Ryuzaki. Are you doing this on purpose?" Light asked, clearly flustered.

"Do you not have a sense of humour, Mr. Yagami?" L replied flatly. "I like to have fun with people too. Like a _normal_ person."

"Normal people don't chain themselves to other people for shits and giggles, and then proceed to lose the key afterwards."

"Normal people get jokes."

"_Normal people_ don't make other people's lives harder."

"Normal people also enjoy company, and I enjoy your company Light Yagami, therefore I am a normal person and your argument is null." L shot back.

Light made a frustrated noise and made a show of turning his whole body away from L and stared out the window with intent. But as a last jab, Light ended up responding. "Normal people sit with their feet on the floor."

"My feet _are_ on the floor, Mr. Yagami. The take-off commenced approximately half a second after you femininely escaped our friendly banter."

"Femininely?!" He exploded. "I turned away from you."

"You also crossed your legs and flicked your hair. That is a characteristic commonly found in female behaviour." Before Light could say anything, L added; "I am just detailing my observations. I'm not intentionally trying to be offensive."

"I am not feminine."

"Your underwear begs to differ."

"_Excuse me?!"_

"Excuse me, would you like any snacks, coffee, or tea?" It was a younger flight attendant this time, with a fresh smile and happy demeanour.

"Yes please, one of each. And do you have cake?"

"You asked that before, Ryuzaki. They do not have cake."

"The other lady might have lied to me. It is safer to ask the rest of the party the same questions. Did you not learn that in law school?"

After L received one coffee, one tea and one of each snack, except for cake, it was then he decided to read the in-flight magazine found in the pocket of the seat before him. And to do that, he dug in his oversized pocket for a pair of large reading glasses that only seemed to boost the size of his already large eyes.

It looked rather ridiculous.

"I didn't know you wore glasses." Light commented in a calmer tone. He'd had a few minutes to cool down and let go of L's petty behaviour.

"Oh these? No, I do not need glasses, Light. They are just for fashion. I thought it would be cool if people thought I _actually_ needed them."

Light stared at the man blankly for a second, trying to process whether he was being serious, or just sarcastic. For a smart man, Light sure felt stupid.

"So your vision?"

"Perfectly 20/20." L replied shortly.

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Ryuzaki. I wouldn't have thought you would care about fashion. I didn't think you'd ever be one of _those_ people."

"What are you talking about? I only wear brand logos, Light. My sneakers I occasionally wear are authentic Nikes, my jeans are Levis, and my shirt is from the Kanye West collection. It was expensive for a plain white shirt." He shrugged his skinny shoulders and continued reading the magazine in his hands, as if it were nothing.

Who did L think he was? Light growled to himself. He was getting sick of the sarcasm and the unfunny jokes. L was just… shocking to be in public with, for lack of a better word.

The flight landed thirty minutes later, the only sound being the hardworking turbines and some chatter from other passengers, but for once, L was quiet and completely absorbed in his magazine and Light had enjoyed the near-silence immensely.

As they were called off the plane after landing, L had stood up from a mountain of rubbish and empty packaging from all of his inflight snacks. They received a foul look from the older flight attendant but a sweet smile from the younger, and as they stepped off the plane into the windy air of their new destination, Light noticed the famous Nike tick on each side of L's sneakers and felt the hot flames of further frustration overtake him. He was at his wits end with L and his strange behaviour. He felt like L was only doing this on purpose.

"Normal person _my_ _ass_." He muttered, pulling on the chain between them to trip him over.

"They're just clothes, Light. I don't know why you're so _upset_." L said from the ground, picking up the key that fell out of his pocket after Light had tripped him.

Rage. It wasn't frustration Light Yagami felt that day. It was pure rage.

.-.

**Yeah I dunno what this is, but it was fun to write! Don't forget to review :D**


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